The moment you choose yourself

What if the life you want starts with a pause? Sometimes we need to trust more than know.

Jul 08, 2026

Hello beautiful soul,

I’ve been wanting to write to you for a while now, but the moment I’m currently in - getting everything ready to start our new chapter taking a gap year - is demanding more than I initially anticipated. This isn’t necessarily good nor bad, it’s simply life happening and requesting more presence and focus.

But I continue to be connected with you, and thinking about all I wish to share. So much so, I have something special to tell you today: a guided process of reflection I’ve been working on for the past months. A personalized reflective experience designed to help you better understand what may be happening beneath the surface of a situation you're currently navigating.

I included a poll at the end, and I very much appreciate if you could take an extra second of your time to read and mark the option that best resonates with you. This will help me greatly. Thank you in advance for your support!

What do you really want?

Last week we faced this big question.

When I paused to reflect on it, I was brutally honest with myself.

I know it may sound harsh, but sometimes we need this kind of reality check and speak not only from the heart, but by combining every element and aspect present: the circumstances, our wishes and wants, the reality and the truth.

All I really needed and deeply wanted was a period of pause. Even though it didn’t mean I would be throwing everything away and simply doing nothing, it meant exercising a deep and important lesson from a couple of weeks ago: being realistic and making tangible decisions, in accordance with my current moment.

Whatever I decided on or chose had to be in complete alignment with the life I’m living in the present.

How often do we do that? Really?

How often do we pause to reevaluate our lives, calendars, and surroundings to make a necessary decision, without any excuses or even lying to ourselves? (Can we be radically honest here?!)

Sometimes we just can’t face the real truth.

Even to pause, to pull the trigger, to stop our world from spinning, we don’t necessarily look in the mirror and make the decision that will best suit the moment we’re in. Not because it may hurt—it’s not even about that. Mostly because it requires dedication, effort, a tremendous amount of focus, giving up attending gatherings, having difficult conversations, and establishing boundaries.

This is hard. This is really hard.

But can I be really, really honest with you? It’s even harder to continue on a path where you’re always questioning, wondering, or deceiving yourself about what could be if you made such a commitment to your own life.

This isn’t easy to explain. It’s something — like almost everything in life — we can only fully understand once we experience it ourselves.

My decision to pause wasn’t simply for this month. It was much bigger. A desire that has been present for a long time, and slowly helped me see that it wasn’t simply a dream — to travel abroad and experience life fully — it was a necessity.

My whole family needs this pause. The path we were following was good, but it wasn’t great. Not because we were in any way suffering, although there’s pain. This is the kind of pain that builds up slowly and silently. It doesn’t stop you the way a sudden illness does. But eventually it does make you sick, because it poisons you from within.

When we’re not happy with our lives, we don’t make changes right away. We usually choose the longer path. The one where we tell ourselves we should be grateful for everything we have, not complain, look on the bright side, and move on.

So we continue moving on, telling ourselves a story we create and repeat. Every time someone mentions about life or their reality, there we are, taking deep breaths and repeating the same story over and over. After all, what can we do, right? That’s just life.

Well, this is indeed our life. The only one we have. And every single decision we make, every single day, is a choice.

This realization isn’t new to me - and I’m sure it isn’t new to you either - but it’s what got me to really reflect on my family’s situation, and check in with myself, my husband, and my kids, what did we really want? What did we need, right now? Not tomorrow, not when... now.

My husband’s first reaction was exactly as I just described:

“Oh... we can’t simply pause. It’s not that easy!” - he would say.

And yet, every time he was fed up with life or tired, his own words would be:

“If I could just pause. If I could just have some time for myself to think and rest.”

And it’s not that we have a miserable life. Absolutely not. I won’t say it’s been easy, in the sense that raising two kids in a foreign country, without any family or support system, is absolutely hard. No doubt. And this was a great contributor to deciding on pushing the STOP button. But still, like I said, to the eyes of those around us, our life was perfect.

So how come we were feeling so out of sync?

Well, the answer to this question isn’t simple.

Have you ever experienced such a feeling? When you know something is wrong, when your emotions fluctuate constantly, you get more easily irritated by small things, and frustration seems to become part of your life as if nothing could make you feel really, genuinely happy?

And that’s when you start to feel guilty, because you know you should be grateful for all you have and what you have achieved. And you are grateful. It’s not even about that. It’s just that you need life to feel and mean more than all this. And what does meaningful even means in this scenario?

Where to start?

I’ve been asked this question a lot lately…

Was the decision to take a gap year only yours, or did you make it as a couple? When did you decide it was time to pause and leave everything behind?

We’ve been through the denial stage. Well, my husband more than me. He was more concerned about all that this decision involved. He is more analytical in that sense. I’m more connected to my emotions and intuition, so I know that when I start feeling a certain way, it’s not by chance. There’s a deeper meaning and story behind it all.

I’m usually the one who knows the next move before my husband gets on board. He just needs a little more time to process the idea. This was a huge learning in our relationship, that helped me bring a lot of patience.

I’m not going to lie. Sometimes it can be very frustrating. I mean, very!!! But I now feel more compassionate towards him and myself, in how we each deal with our decision-making process. And this time it wasn’t only on me to help my husband see what was already clear. This is a decision much bigger than us. Life already had it all planned out. So it started to speed things up.

There were changes for both of us in regard to our work, in a more constricted way. We haven’t been satisfied about our kids education for a while. Relationships changed in the past couple of years. Winters started to bother us so much we found ourselves complaining and being grumpy about it often. The feeling of discomfort started to grow in a way we could no longer dismiss it. It wasn’t silent anymore. Something needed to be done. Something needed to change.

Change has been a common theme this year

Not only in my life — in general. Every astrology channel I connect to talks about this signature for the year of 2026. So it didn’t get me by surprise when I heard this word being referred to the month of July.

When I connected to the energy present for this month, upon asking what was the main aspect it would carry, the card that presented itself was the Quicksilver Moon - Changes.

One thing that I promptly understood was that this isn’t the kind of change that comes to shake our ground. No. It’s not about unexpected events. It’s a much more profound type. The one that happens smoothly and yet intensely, because it comes from within.

For the past 3 months, the key element has been consistency, and this month is no different. Again it was expressed through the sequence of cards I pulled for each week. And it’s just so contradictory to see such an aspect under the energy of change, right?

But that’s where we are asked to stretch our thinking a little.

How can you consistently make the changes you not only want, but deeply need, in your life?

It’s through small acts that a bigger move can happen. Nothing is being asked of you to create rupture in an impulsive and abrupt way. More than ever, learning how to deal with the extremes is what will help you understand what creates balance.

And the incredible part is that we are all capable of transforming our lives into what we want them to be, truly, unapologetically, without any excuses or second-guessing what we know needs to happen.

Now is the time to commit to what we truly desire, want, and know is important. It will require hard work, no doubt, but the reward is also certain. Consistency is the element that will guide us through the hardship of attending to our goals.

Even though thinking of all the necessary dedication such achievement requires, it’s by honouring our wants through our doing that we will fully understand the why behind it all.

After being asked about what you really want in your life, and connecting to all the ideas you already have defined in your mind and clear in your heart, the next step isn’t action, it’s pause, and then ACTION!

This doesn’t mean throwing everything away, like I mentioned. It’s about the small steps and consistent movement. It’s about putting your hands to work, making the decisions that will help you move the needle.

An ambitious dream can be improbable, but not impossible.

“No dream or goal is impossible for those who are willing to stay committed to bringing it to life. It may require a different way of thinking, a lot of hard work, changing some habits, convincing the non-believers, sacrificing many things and a lot of reflection, but in the end, there isn’t anything you can’t do if you believe enough in yourself and your ideas.”

Seasons of the Witch - Ostara Oracle

Your thoughts and your words can be the propelling force to push you forward, or the roadblock that will keep you chained to your own limitations, keeping you from giving yourself the chance to achieve a remarkable life.

The questions to ask yourself at this point are:

If you could freeze your thoughts right before that avalanche of negative self-talk could take place, where would you stand?
What limiting beliefs are depleting your confidence and self-trust?
What is the internal narrative you keep on repeat, to convince you against that impulse that rushes through your veins and lights up your heart?

Remember, change is the main energy present, calling you to commit to your life’s purpose, not from knowing every single step to be taken, but to trust that upon consistently moving towards the life that you want, you will find yourself on the path that will lead you to the answers you so eagerly seek.

Sometimes we need to trust more than know.

I’m about to embark on a journey and I haven’t even bought the tickets yet. Literally. The decision about where to start isn’t clear, but that doesn’t mean we will stop and wait for it to happen. I continue to sell, pack, donate, eliminate what we have. Small actions, everyday, will result in an empty house, ready to accommodate the new family moving in, and all the required supplies we need to have with us.

My reality feels very messy right now. You have no idea how my house looks like. I know it’s temporary, and more than that, that this is part of the whole decision. It will feel messy before everything falls into place. This is a mantra I’m keeping on repeat, because I know it won’t be just for this moment of getting ready to travel.

I have no idea what the future will unfold. But I’m trusting a feeling that is much stronger: the desire to change.

I hope this experience will change not only my surroundings, but my view of the world, my notions of right and wrong, the way I look at people - exercising kindness and compassion in a literal way, my sense of self-worth, how I shy away from my fears, how I communicate. I hope it stretches my knowledge and everything I understand about life. I hope this experience changes me profoundly. And I hope it gives me and my family the connection and bond that will remain for a lifetime.

The biggest decision has been made: take a gap year starting August. The rest will follow, upon our consistent movement towards making it happen. Trust is really at play right now.

What this week holds for you

Have you been feeling somewhat restless? I sudden need to reorganize your closet, clean a cabinet, maybe rearrange your furniture, or looking to start a new hobby or even join a community project?

The urge to get more hands-on is real. There’s a calling for change. And even though it may not be very clear to you how or what this really means, it’s through movement that you will find your answers. But don’t disregard the moments for deeper reflection.

This week you’re being called to reevaluate the story you’ve been telling yourself and regain the power you always had within you to write your story in accordance with what you really want.

“You have the ability to reroute the streams of your consciousness, creating fresh empowering thoughts and beliefs. Embrace the transformative practice of introspection, for in these moments of quiet reflection you will lay the foundation for profound evolution.”

Seasons of the Witch - Ostara Oracle

Take a moment to reflect on everything that came to your mind during this read and week. Answer with honesty, removing the feelings that make you question yourself and your ideas. Allow your truth to come forward.

You have nothing to lose. Just be with yourself.

Make it a pleasant moment. Go to a coffee shop or restaurant, order your favourite drink and meal, put on some music to cheer you up, and bring your journal with you.

Write without a script. Do this brainstorm exercise:

Set your alarm for 10 or 15 minutes, and write down everything that comes to your mind upon asking yourself: If I were to live the life I truly want, I would...?

Let your heart speak. You owe nothing to anyone but yourself.

After you finish writing, don’t jump right away into action mode. Sit with your feelings for a moment, and notice what comes up. Continue writing if you wish, to help you move through your emotions. And then, only then, check in with yourself and feel — don’t simply think about — what is the first meaningful step to take.

You may need to learn a new skill, take a course, start over somehow. Don’t allow this notion of being an apprentice to scare you and make you give up on your dreams. Life is made of endings and beginnings. It’s part of its cycle.

Be it a formal education or a new view of your own self and inner knowing, in any case, this moment is about undressing yourself from preconceptions and bringing in your new vision.

Believe in your power of creation and put your creativity to good use: one that will build the life you want to live in the here and now, not someday.

It’s time to get to work!

Before you go, let me tell you about a tool I’ve been working on

I've been reflecting on how often we try to solve what's happening around us, when what we really need is a little more understanding of what's happening within us. I'm creating a new offering to support people through those moments of uncertainty, and I'd love to hear from you.

People often know they feel overwhelmed, stuck, or confused, but they don't always know how to articulate what they need clarity about. A blank question can create friction.

They ask: "Should I leave my job?"

When the real question should be: "Why do I feel so afraid of making this decision?"

"Should I end this relationship?" and instead, they should be asking: "What is this relationship revealing about me?"

The real feeling behind it all is commonly:

I feel stuck.
I feel disconnected.
I feel overwhelmed.
I keep repeating the same pattern.
I don’t trust myself.
I can’t make a decision.
I don’t understand why I reacted this way.
I feel like I’m changing, but I don’t know who I’m becoming.
I know something needs to change, but I can’t identify what.

I want to help people understand what's happening beneath the surface, so they can move forward with greater clarity, self-trust, and connection to themselves.

To support those facing such struggles, I’m working on a tool called Inner Clarity Message - a personalized written reflection designed to help you better understand what may be happening beneath the surface of a situation you're currently navigating. A first step toward understanding yourself differently.

Through a series of thoughtful questions, you’ll be invited to explore how this challenge is showing up emotionally, mentally, and physically. Your responses become the foundation for a personalized reflection, enriched by symbolic guidance from oracle and tarot cards, used as tools for contemplation rather than prediction.

Together with my background in Psychology, Coaching, and Hypnosis, this process aims to help you uncover new perspectives, reconnect with your inner wisdom, and move forward with greater clarity and self-awareness.

When life feels challenging, which of these experiences resonates most with you right now?

Is there something else you’re experiencing that didn’t make the list? Maybe you feel like your mind and body are telling you something, but you don't know how to listen? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

Thank you kindly for supporting me to act on my purpose to help people find clarity in their lives, be more present, and consciously choose what they wish to experience in the here and now.

Love, Livia

ALMA VIA Healing

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